authenticity

TRANSPARENT by Amy Vidra

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I used to write all the time in my journals. It was easy for me, at the time, writing what I felt or observed, but writing this blog today does not come as easy.  Whenever I find myself wanting or needing to do something that is out of my comfort zone or something I’ve never done before, I resist, procrastinate, and I tend to make it something larger and more difficult than needed.  Unlike painting and art, blogging is one of those things.  So why am I adding a blog section to my art site?  

Part of me thinks my art should speak for itself, no blog to cloud the vision for the observer or myself. But the other part thinks, my words and process are just as important as my art, since they are one in the same.  My expectations of myself and others are often high, and this can sometimes set me up for failure and disappointment.  So most of the time I’ll hush those critical voices in my head telling me it’s not going to be good enough or to my standards, and I’ll jump in, trusting I’ll figure it out as I go, and knowing my harshest critic is only myself. So here I am.

My art is me, transparent, vulnerable, emotional, present, and something that I don’t need to overthink. My paintings bring me into the present moment and my focus is on the color, form, and mark making.  Sometimes the pieces don’t always work and the lines or colors don’t always flow, but it’s something my brain can mull over and figure out.  My intention here, for this blog, is to be about my process; what happens in the studio, what works, what doesn’t, a discourse with myself and others as an artist and a human.  

As most artists can relate, some days in the studio can be a struggle. The ideas aren’t flowing, every mark seems not quite right, the colors don’t quite work together, the composition is off, and it can be isolating.  What that process brings up for me in that moment can be a conglomeration of things, but in that moment my intention is to be transparent, authentic, and to create what comes from within.   I strive for this blog to be the same.